Crows Don't Cry...

@zefrank ...

I never wake up anywhere near 6 a.m.

Sometimes, I go to bed around then, but unless the destruction of my reputation depends on it, I ignore it completely.  In fact, of all the hours on the clock, I think we've met the fewest times.

That said, yesterday (or the day before, I don't remember... all the days are running together) I woke up at 6:17.  On my own.  With no alarm.

I woke up with a desire to get back to work.  Then I remembered that I had already been dreaming about being awake... having my coffee... and getting back to work... at 6 a.m...

This is what happens when you focus on one, single, project for too long.

Here, in the home stretch of turning this thing - this thing to which I've given more than a year of my life - this thing that's changed the way I look at the world and my role in it - this thing that has finally proven to me that there is something I fiercely love to do and can continue doing past the point I run out of fuel - from a pop-up book cut-out into a new life in which the things I dream become real... I have to admit that I'm very tired.

I miss my friends, I miss reading, I miss the sun, my family, lazy afternoons in the park, watching movies, going to shows, playing boardgames over wine...

So when I woke up this morning, ready to get back to work, I really, really, really, really, needed to find this:

I feel deficient as a creative person that I've not known about Zefrank until two hours ago, but sometimes when you're completely run down, you accidentally stumble across what you need to keep going.

What brought me to my knees this morning, however, while looking around his unbelievably diverse, interactive, and creative website, was the concept of generous creativity.  It's so easy to curl yourself around your projects like an evil old dragon around its precious egg.  It's your vision, your idea, your catharsis, your catalyst, your heart, your soul, your offering... But Zefrank is the opposite of this.  His projects are about interactivity.  He reaches out for people to participate and they reach back to him.  The result is stunning, beautiful, and utterly, utterly comforting.

Tuning into his 2010 TED talk (which I didn't intend to watch all the way through), I felt like I was being reminded of something I hadn't realized I'd forgotten: creativity is not an island.

Creativity is most beautiful when it listens to those it's trying to reach.  It's a lot like love in that way; it's a two way street, and it can create powerful bonds for those who approach it with and open heart and an open mind.

I did end up watching that TED talk to the end.  And after having barely left the house in over a month, pouring over my computer for as long as I can remain conscious, feeling the stress mount over whether the manuscript is good enough, what to put in my proposal, how to navigate the publishing world, how to use punctuation properly, whether anyone will be interested, whether my stamina will even hold out, and whether one can start a sentence with and...

...the end of the TED talk brought me to...

Ah, well... I don't want to get into it.  You'll know what I mean when you get there...

Thanks, Zefrank.  I really needed you today.

A. Crow